The Truth About Leading the ‘Unleadable’
Practical Tools to Inspire Even the Most Resistant Teams
“Some people just refuse to be led.”
If you’ve been in leadership long enough, you’ve probably encountered someone who fits this description. They might resist your guidance, seem unwilling to collaborate, or dismiss every effort you make to “lead” them.
It’s frustrating, isn’t it? But here’s a hard truth I’ve come to accept: not everyone wants to be led.
That doesn’t mean you’re failing as a leader. And it doesn’t mean you should write them off. It means you need to lead differently.
Today, I want to share the mindset shift and practical tools I’ve used to “lead” even the most seemingly unleadable people. Spoiler: It’s less about pulling them along and more about showing up differently.
Stop Trying to Lead Them
Let’s start here: Leadership isn’t about forcing people to follow you. If someone resists, trying harder to “lead” them isn’t the answer. In fact, the more you push, the more they’ll push back.
Instead of leading at them, focus on walking beside them.
1. Walk Beside Them
When someone doesn’t respond to traditional leadership, the best way forward is to meet them where they are. Don’t talk at them; talk with them.
• Ask about their goals.
• Understand what motivates them.
• Be present, not just as a boss, but as someone who genuinely cares.
Sometimes, people resist leadership because they feel unseen or misunderstood. Walking beside them builds trust. It says, “I see you, I’m here for you, and I’m not going anywhere.”
2. Motivate and Inspire Through Your Progress
The most effective leaders lead by example. If someone isn’t willing to follow your direction, show them what progress looks like through your own work, decisions, and actions.
It’s not about bragging; it’s about showing up consistently.
• Share your wins and struggles. Be authentic about your journey.
• Demonstrate what’s possible when you stay focused and committed.
• Let your actions inspire them to take action.
Resistant individuals often need to see success before they believe it’s possible. Your progress can be the spark that shifts their perspective.
3. Challenge Them Like a Coach
Think of the star athletes who push back on authority but thrive with the right coach. Sometimes the most “unleadable” people just need a challenge.
Here’s what this looks like:
• Set high expectations, and be clear about what those are.
• Push them toward their potential—not through demands, but through honest, constructive feedback.
• Remind them of their strengths and talents.
A coach doesn’t force the athlete to succeed. They equip, challenge, and guide. Your role as a leader is the same.
4. Be Consistently There
Resistance can come from a lack of trust. If someone has been burned by past leadership (or has their guard up for other reasons), they need to see you show up—again and again.
Consistency is key here.
• Keep showing up for them, even when they push back.
• Offer support without strings attached.
• Be reliable, dependable, and steady.
Over time, consistency erodes resistance. People may not say it outright, but they notice when a leader refuses to give up on them.
5. Hold Them Accountable to Their Own Goals
Here’s where it all comes together: Instead of trying to lead people toward your vision, help them align with their own goals, aspirations, and potential.
• What do they want to achieve?
• How does their work contribute to their personal or professional growth?
• How can you hold them accountable for the things they care about?
When people feel ownership of their goals, resistance fades. You become less of a boss and more of a partner in their success.
The Hardest Leadership Lesson
The truth is, leading the “unleadable” is often more about your mindset than theirs.
It’s about understanding that leadership isn’t one-size-fits-all. Some people need guidance; others need space. Some need a push; others need a hand to hold.
If you shift your approach—walk beside them, inspire through action, challenge them, and hold them accountable—you’ll find that no one is truly “unleadable.”
They’re just waiting for the right kind of leader to show up.
Now, I want to hear from you:
• Have you ever led someone you thought was “unleadable”?
• What did you try, and what worked?
Drop your thoughts in the comments or share this with someone who might need it today.
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